Almost there... 2 weeks 5 days left.
So I'm almost there. So much has happened since the last time I've been up in this piece.
Let begin with what I wasn't sharing.
20 week visit...the day we found out the sex of the baby.
I thought this would be a good visit to bring my mother to, considering I hadn't really involved her in much. I don't like to involve a bunch of people on purpose really, because well, people like to put their 2 cents in, I hate that, especially the "change" I didn't ask for in the first place. Anyway, bringing mom to the doctor ALWAYS a bad idea...go with your gut instinct Edie, duh.
ANYWAY, at 20 weeks we found out (my mother and I) found out I was having a girl, even though I insisted I was having a boy. Aaahh well, can't predict them all. Along with finding out we were having a girl we found out she has SUA (Single Umbilical Artery) and a pelvic kidney, functioning, but pelvic. Because little Ava had 2 abnormalities they suggested, even though I am/was "low risk", I get tested for trisomy 13, 18, and 21. 2 of those are fatal for either her or both of us and the other is downs syndrome.
Now I can't speak for everyone here, but dr's REALLY need a class on how to deliver news and the nurses need to learn to keep a game face on when they run across things that may or may not be serious issues.
For instance the lovely lady that was doing my ultrasound made it pretty damned obvious something was wrong. I could feel her nervous energy and I could see her nervousness too. THEN...she gets the dr..by the way before I continue I have to let you know my mother in an over-reactor and only hears what she wants to hear (although according to my siblings she can't hear very well, which she can't, but I'll go with what I believe ;p )...ANYWAY, the doctor comes in, who is not my dr by the way and starts with small talk, which was annoying because I knew something was wrong and she just needed to get to the point. She starts with "sometimes..." I was like "How often is sometimes?" She said,"1 to 2%." I was like, "So not sometimes." Then she began to explain to what was "wrong" with the baby. Of course things like this are scary, however I kept calm, my mother on the other hand not so much.
We get sent to wait for my doctor, who re-explains everything, but in a much more calm, pragmatic and professional manner. She explained with mine and Richard's genetic history it was VERY unlikely that any of the above would be an issue, however, now that we have this information I do have an opportunity to get tested. Of course at this point, we chose yes.
Here comes the comic relief: My mother. While we were waiting, and we waited a LONG time, I ask,"I wonder what other mothers do in these situations?" She said,"cry." I thought about it, but nothing was for sure so there was no reason for me to get upset, right? So then here comes my mother.." I knew something was wrong the baby's face on the ultrasound didn't look right and she couldn't find the baby's other leg. What did they say was wrong with her spine?" Knowing I did this to myself, I just respond, mother that's the way ALL ultrasounds look at this point. The baby has no fat so she looks skeletal, and I'm pretty sure with all that news they would have told me if she was missing a leg. They also said her spine was perfect." She continues on with her theories about downs syndrome and a few other things that made me want to call her a cab. However, I kept my cool while my doctor was getting me into the genetic specialist that day.
So while I'm listening to my mother reason and argue things out loud with herself I am getting TONS of text messages asking what the sex of the baby is. Of course, I am not responding because well, we don't even know if the baby is going to make it much farther. THEN, I get one last text message from a friend/co-worker...about me deleting her from Facebook. This issue was addressed as I told her when I did it I was deleting EVERYONE from work because of another issue. Apparently she forgot and proceeded to give me a piece of her mind, oh and call me immature. HA! (that's a whole other blog entry all together). I have all of these wonderful things going on around me and what does the nurse come to do? Take my blood pressure. Smooth. Yeah I totally expected it to be low...PSYCH! So because of my high blood pressure history I get to have another test done for preeclampsia. woo hoo!
So we got an appointment with the genetic specialist, but I had time to think about everything, with my mother, HA! and eat some lunch. So to most of society, there is something wrong with a child with downs. I don't and didn't see that at all. I could be so lucky to have a child with downs. What sweet, harmless, children. That I did not see as an issue at all. The other 2 genetic issues...those were troubling and I had never heard of SUA before. I did my research, by the way DON'T EVER look into the scientific websites...EVER. BAD BAD BAD. Instead turn to the mommy websites if you must clutter your mind with "what ifs". SUA did have a minor fatal possibility, but most likely she could be small, there is nothing wrong with a small baby. The pelvic kidney, not a big deal its functioning and well at least she has 2. It is very common for babies with SUA to only have one kidney. So this was good and things weren't so grim. However, trisomy 13 & 18 those were my concerns.
We get to the genetic specialist and it was a relief to hear,"we got your ultrasound, and we aren't really sure why they sent you here. With your genetic backgrounds and the ultrasound, it isn't likely that you will test positive for any of these things." I was like oh. In fact they told me that they would be REALLY surprised if the tests came back positive. However, we went ahead and did it anyway, what's another $750 on top of the rest of our bills, right? 7 - 10 days was the waiting period for my results. All that brings us to a total of 10 hours dealing with the dr. With in 2 days my mom was asking if I got my results. I politely said I would not be speaking to her until I got the results haha. She was trying to be positive saying we will love Ava no matter what etc. However, I just wanted the most information I could get AND not jump to any conclusions until I got my test results.
In the meantime, people were being quite cruel and RUDE (as Stephanie from Full House would say). Because I didn't announce the baby's sex right away and when people were asking I heard things like,"its probably because she was wrong about the sex of the baby." A few other ugly things and of course then having to deal with the drama THAT girl brought to work for no good reason. I was a bit stressed and a bit unhappy. I only explained the situation to a few friends and family members, because there really was no reason to cause worry over something that was not a done deal.
7-10 days is up!
All test results came back negative. Best voicemail I could have ever received! The next steps were just to monitor the size of the baby. Well...so far soo good. 36 weeks she was 5lbs 11oz. We are at 37 and I get a BPP (biophysical profile) once a week and a size ultrasound every 4. Everything has been going swimmingly.
These last 2 trimesters, with the exception of me getting huge, have been great. However, now that I've hit these final weeks...um yeah. You mommies that miraculously forget all the "bad" stuff that goes on during pregnancy. Shame on you! Your telling new mommies about pregnancy card has been revoked. People need to know they aren't alone from friends and family not by having to research it on the internet. The internet is scary and full of negativity. My sole purpose in writing this very blog is to let you know yeah, stuff gets crazy with pregnancy, BUT the silver lining is POSSIBLE even through the pain, misery, bloating, and swelling. I'm an open book and happy to share what my experiences are. The cool thing is that they are mine and may not be like everyone else's, but identifying with someone else is priceless. ;) I say good day.
