I have to begin by saying. I never knew what I wanted to be "when I grow up", except for famous. I went to college and studied communications and worked like most others. I found I have a passion for radio/marketing and work GREAT with children. I got laid off twice from the radio stations I worked at and figured, screw it. It's not stable enough for me to continue on that path. So I decided to return to school to work in the medical field, at first it was a dr, if I wanted to graduate when I'm 65, then a nurse, which is still a possibility, although I am thinking physician's assistant. I went to a community college to finish the pre reqs I didn't cover with my 1st degree, which are still unfinished. I stopped going to school, because I ended up with a terrible professor (I was going part time) for one of the MOST important classes, counselors who just wanted me in and out of their offices. I felt lost and discouraged. I really wanted to do this, I felt it was in my blood to do this. The question was if I can't get the support I need from my school how the HELL am I going to do this? I was working part-time and going to school part-time and I really did well in most of my courses. As I looked for another professor to take this certain class with, yup, NO ONE ELSE! I would wait HOURS & HOURS on end trying to get grants and trying to meet with counselors to help me find options. Nothing. I finally had to go to the mental health counselor to get some help. She helped me knock out everything I needed. She was a GOD send.
I still felt extremely discouraged as the last semester rolled by. Is this really what I need to do? I am working soo hard and this one class/professor was killing me. So I didn't return. For a few reasons. I will be getting married soon and can't pay for a wedding as a student and well I needed to reboot and make sure this is what is what was calling my name. So as I sit here in my cubicle, ready to tear my hair out because I'm being asked to complete some menial task, the answer is yes. I am TOO fucking smart to be sitting hear waiting hand and foot on someone who could have opened the drawer that is right next to him and pull the file out, instead of ME getting up from my desk walking down the hall to do the same for him.
Once I am married, I AM OUTTA HERE! I will return to my studies, finish, and be the best physician's assistant ever!!!! I have applied to HUNDREDS of jobs and nothing has come of the interview and call backs I have gotten. I have taken this as a sign that I need to work in health care. Not only for myself, but my soon to be family and my immediate family. I needed to actually get this out of my system instead of thinking it all the time because now as I make the steps towards that goal it will become reality.
SO before I RUN OUTTA HERE AT FULL SPEED WITH MY ARMS FLAILING IN THE AIR SCREAMING AT THE TOP OF MY LUNGS...remind me, patients my dear. You are working toward your goal, use your time wisely.
THE END.
Monday, November 21, 2011
Thursday, October 20, 2011
Holiday WOES good bye!!!
I've decided to get behind a few products that have been around for awhile. One is beach body. Beach body is the entire line of p90x videoes (hip hop abs, slim in 6 etc). ALSO their Shakeology is great!! I tried and instantly fell in love. These are the gifts that keep on giving. I have a few health goals that I want to meet before the actual REAL holidays begin (Thanksgiving and Christmas) and these products are already helping me get there. What I love about these products is ai talk to people who use these and have seen actual results, REAL results from their use. As Tony Horton would say, "Bring it!"
Please feel free to shop in my virtual stores and check out my profile and story!
http://beachbodycoach.com/Ediesk
http://myshakeology.com/Ediesk
Please let me know if you have any questions!
I've decided to get behind a few products that have been around for awhile. One is beach body. Beach body is the entire line of p90x videoes (hip hop abs, slim in 6 etc). ALSO their Shakeology is great!! I tried and instantly fell in love. These are the gifts that keep on giving. I have a few health goals that I want to meet before the actual REAL holidays begin (Thanksgiving and Christmas) and these products are already helping me get there. What I love about these products is ai talk to people who use these and have seen actual results, REAL results from their use. As Tony Horton would say, "Bring it!"
Please feel free to shop in my virtual stores and check out my profile and story!
http://beachbodycoach.com/Ediesk
http://myshakeology.com/Ediesk
Please let me know if you have any questions!
Thursday, August 25, 2011
Lost in Limbo
Ya know...people say if you give off positivity you will get it in return. People say ask for help. As an adult these days I have found more and more of my friends at my age (30) still lost. Where do I need to be? Where am I supposed to go? What is going to be my next move? I am not happy with what I am doing, where my life is, where its going. People say, well do something about it! So you do, and you still feel lost in limbo. Is where I am better than where I was? How do I know what success is? Why is this person (seemingly) more successful than me?
I don't have the answers to these questions. I have gone through and exhausted just about every resource I have. Maybe I need to hurry up and purchase a web cam so I can get my youtube channel on??? In any case, I have learned and continue to learn the only person who is gonna pull me out of this funk is me. Am I tired and mentally drained for putting efforts towards being a better person everyday, to get a better job everyday, and to feel worthy everyday? YES! YES! YES! I am struggling right now to hit that passion I once had. I am a creative person and am dying to use my creativity before it fizzles up, dries out and dies. It is true ya know, if ya don't use it ya lose it.
SO what is success? Its so different for so many people. My success will be to get back to the job that I had a passion for. The job I didn't mind working weekends and late for. The job that I got to use my creativity for. For others, its marriage and family, and other is just money. I see soo many people who want what others have. Well, the grass isn't always greener folks. However, you need to push yourself. If you want those things you work towards them. Change what you do everyday. I'm sure you have all heard the definition of insanity is to do the same thing over and over again expecting a different result. Well, I HATE that definition. DO you see that anywhere???
Show IPA
Sometimes, they key IS persistence. So yes do something over and over again until you get a result. Figure out what isn't working and fix and get the job. I love this, because this have become a pep talk to myself. See, earlier I could NOT stop crying at work. I am literally in AWE of how wrong I feel like my job is. Not wrong ethically, wrong for me. It is beating me up and taking away what is me. I need to be me, I need to be creative, I need to be able to use my personality, and I just can't do that where I am at now. If you are feeling the same way I am, which, I know sooo many are. Let's make it happen. I am sure you have as many talented, intelligent friends as I do. Put your minds together. Make moves! Get inspired! Hell, go home early like I did and cry until your head hurts and take a look back at your sorry pitiful ass and KICK IT! Get into high gear and make MOVES SON!!! As I attempt to work my way into one of the hardest industries to get into, I will get beat down, I will get rejected, and I will be ignored, but I will keep on trucking until I hit EVERY SINGLE goal small and BIG, until my passion is back. Thank GOD for supportive fiances! Alright, lets do this thang!
I don't have the answers to these questions. I have gone through and exhausted just about every resource I have. Maybe I need to hurry up and purchase a web cam so I can get my youtube channel on??? In any case, I have learned and continue to learn the only person who is gonna pull me out of this funk is me. Am I tired and mentally drained for putting efforts towards being a better person everyday, to get a better job everyday, and to feel worthy everyday? YES! YES! YES! I am struggling right now to hit that passion I once had. I am a creative person and am dying to use my creativity before it fizzles up, dries out and dies. It is true ya know, if ya don't use it ya lose it.
SO what is success? Its so different for so many people. My success will be to get back to the job that I had a passion for. The job I didn't mind working weekends and late for. The job that I got to use my creativity for. For others, its marriage and family, and other is just money. I see soo many people who want what others have. Well, the grass isn't always greener folks. However, you need to push yourself. If you want those things you work towards them. Change what you do everyday. I'm sure you have all heard the definition of insanity is to do the same thing over and over again expecting a different result. Well, I HATE that definition. DO you see that anywhere???
in·san·i·ty
[in-san-i-tee]
ɪ Show IPA –noun, plural in·san·i·ties.
1.
the condition of being insane; a derangement of the mind. Synonyms: dementia, lunacy, madness, craziness, mania, aberration.
2.
Law . such unsoundness of mind as frees one from legal responsibility, as for committing a crime, or as signals one's lack of legal capacity, as for entering into a contractual agreement.
3.
4.
a.
extreme foolishness; folly; senselessness; foolhardiness: Trying to drive through that traffic would be pure insanity.
b.
a foolish or senseless action, policy, statement, etc.: We've heard decades of insanities in our political discourse.
Sometimes, they key IS persistence. So yes do something over and over again until you get a result. Figure out what isn't working and fix and get the job. I love this, because this have become a pep talk to myself. See, earlier I could NOT stop crying at work. I am literally in AWE of how wrong I feel like my job is. Not wrong ethically, wrong for me. It is beating me up and taking away what is me. I need to be me, I need to be creative, I need to be able to use my personality, and I just can't do that where I am at now. If you are feeling the same way I am, which, I know sooo many are. Let's make it happen. I am sure you have as many talented, intelligent friends as I do. Put your minds together. Make moves! Get inspired! Hell, go home early like I did and cry until your head hurts and take a look back at your sorry pitiful ass and KICK IT! Get into high gear and make MOVES SON!!! As I attempt to work my way into one of the hardest industries to get into, I will get beat down, I will get rejected, and I will be ignored, but I will keep on trucking until I hit EVERY SINGLE goal small and BIG, until my passion is back. Thank GOD for supportive fiances! Alright, lets do this thang!
Monday, August 22, 2011
I am angry at life. RIIIIIGHT NOW.
I didn't ever want to use this thing to bitch, but here I am, needing to vent, needing to get rid of this anger before it consumes me. I have to begin to say, I work everyday, my hardest, to make it an enjoyable day. I, like sooo many, hit soooo many bumps in the road. I have always been the type to just go with the flow, go with my gut, but now, I feel like its all wrong. I almost have to laugh at my life, because in any other form, my life would be a comedy. A tragiv comedy. A comedy about a young girl trying to fight her way back into a job she loves and has a passion for. A girl trying to find her joy in work again. A girl who has a pile of shit poured on her smile CONSTANTLY, yet gets back up and smiles through the ca ca.
Among the past calamities of my car, my contacts, my phone and all the other silly little things that are taken away (or that deplete my bank account), that people constantly take for granted, there is so much more. I recently lost something very precious to me, but still have hope I will find it. My favorite is that I fell asleep with my contacts on, so I am stuck wearing my LOVELY glasses.
LET ME TELL YA SOMETHING...about my glasses. Right now, I look like Sandra Bullock before her transformation in Miss Congeniality. Eh, I don't care. I actually think its quite funny, every time I look in the mirror I see a girl with some bunky, crooken ole glasses. Eh, whatever, at least I can kinda see right? I go to leave work today aaaaaaannnd my car won't start. I think she hates me. I think Bertha is saying, bitch I'm done. I got 237,000 miles on me. You dun rode me rugged and dead. Eh, all she needs is a new battery. Don't worry Bertha, there is hope yet! Yes, I did say two hundred thirty seven THOUSAND miles. What you know about that? My girl, is American and she's a hoss, just like her momma! So this hoss is going to make another shit storm. Yes, I will rise and smile through the ca ca. Ya gotta laugh! Think about it, me and my crookend glasses attaching jumper cables to Bertha, my 1998 GMC Envoy. The legend continues and so will I. Sure this sounds petty and no reason to get down, BUT HUNNY every now and then all the little things in life catch up to ya and you need to take a moment to embrace and erase.
Sooo...on that note. I feel a tad better. Please don't leave any comments saying you hope things will get better or notes of pity. Don't feel sorry for me. I'm moving on fools! Pop lockin and moving on to the next day!!! WHAT!! WHAT!!!
Among the past calamities of my car, my contacts, my phone and all the other silly little things that are taken away (or that deplete my bank account), that people constantly take for granted, there is so much more. I recently lost something very precious to me, but still have hope I will find it. My favorite is that I fell asleep with my contacts on, so I am stuck wearing my LOVELY glasses.
LET ME TELL YA SOMETHING...about my glasses. Right now, I look like Sandra Bullock before her transformation in Miss Congeniality. Eh, I don't care. I actually think its quite funny, every time I look in the mirror I see a girl with some bunky, crooken ole glasses. Eh, whatever, at least I can kinda see right? I go to leave work today aaaaaaannnd my car won't start. I think she hates me. I think Bertha is saying, bitch I'm done. I got 237,000 miles on me. You dun rode me rugged and dead. Eh, all she needs is a new battery. Don't worry Bertha, there is hope yet! Yes, I did say two hundred thirty seven THOUSAND miles. What you know about that? My girl, is American and she's a hoss, just like her momma! So this hoss is going to make another shit storm. Yes, I will rise and smile through the ca ca. Ya gotta laugh! Think about it, me and my crookend glasses attaching jumper cables to Bertha, my 1998 GMC Envoy. The legend continues and so will I. Sure this sounds petty and no reason to get down, BUT HUNNY every now and then all the little things in life catch up to ya and you need to take a moment to embrace and erase.
Sooo...on that note. I feel a tad better. Please don't leave any comments saying you hope things will get better or notes of pity. Don't feel sorry for me. I'm moving on fools! Pop lockin and moving on to the next day!!! WHAT!! WHAT!!!
Saturday, August 6, 2011
Let's get racial...before I finish the laundry.
GOOOOOD MORNING IIINNNNTERRRNNETTTTT! Heh, get it Good morning, Vietnam?
I am going to try my best to keep my thoughts organized this is a HUGE deal for me.
This blog was sparked by an early morning conversation with a very good friend of mine. She went on a date with someone who asked her if she ever dated "bi-racially". First, he's an idiot for not using the proper word for describing an "interracial" relationship. There were soo many things wrong with what she told me he said. First, you should know her and I are both mixed. I am not going to tell our races because they don't matter. The other reason is, and I am speaking generally, when you tell someone your race they automatically put you into a group or only identify you with ONE of the races you are mixed, and all of the stereotypes and generalizations that come with it. Most of the time if you are a minority mixed with Caucasian, people do not or will not allow you to identify yourself as white. Other times people won't allow you to identify yourself with the other race. When say I allow, yes you are allowed to do what ever you want, but the person will argue with you. Why can't you identify yourself with both? You ARE both races, why can't you identify with both? Why do people have such a hard time grasping the fact people ARE American. America is a melting pot of sooo many different types of people.
"You know you're racist when..."
What is this..."Oh that's why you...*fill in trait here* because you're *fill in race here*". People as much as you say you are not racist, you probably are. If you find yourself telling a story then feeling it's necessary to share person's race, as if it makes a difference in the person's character in your story, you're racist. If you find yourself saying, "I'm not racist I have *fill in race or sexual orientation here* friends", you're racist/prejudice. If you identify a certain race with stereotypes and other generalizations or you start a sentence with, "I"m not racist, but...". Guess what? You're racist. If you see a person's color first, ya know, you're kinda racist. Well, at least in my book. I see it like this. People are like The Breakfast Club. Granted, yes all the people in that movie are white, BUT the idea is still there. The letter they write to the principal at the end spells out exactly how I feel about EVERYONE! It goes like this...
"Dear Mr. Vernon, we accept the fact that we had to sacrifice a whole Saturday in detention for whatever it was we did wrong. What we did WAS wrong, but we think you're crazy to make us write an essay telling you who we think we are. You see us as you want to see us... In the simplest terms and the most convenient definitions. But what we found out is that each one of us is ... a brain ...and an athlete...and a basket case...a princess...and a criminal...Does that answer your question?
Sincerely yours, the Breakfast Club.".
Yes this was a bunch of teenagers shoved together in a John Hughes movie, but the last 3 sentences are truth. You see people how you want to see people! In every race there is a brain, an athlete, a basket case, a princess/prince, and a criminal. BOOM! There is no race that doesn't have any of those characteristics. Who gives a shit about statistics? Yes, your parents, your surroundings helped mold your view points, but you grow up and move out. You mold yourself and your children. It is up to you to see past physical characteristics to see the person and character inside and to teach your children that. It doesn't matter where you grew up, or where you've been. How are you treating and speaking about people today?
"What are you?" ~
Another one of my friends touched on this subject, she did made a very good point. Why do people need to know someone's ethnic background(s) so bad? First, I think it is SOOOO rude when someone has just barely met you and they ask "what are you" "what's your background" etc. Why does it matter so much? If I tell you and you don't like it, am I not worth your time anymore? In my opinion, solely MY opinion, I believe it does not matter. REALLY and TRULY. I NEVER ask people what their ethnic background is, sure I'm curious, but please explain to me what race, ethnicity, or sexual orientation has to do with anything? No one ever has an answer for me except they're curious. Save the curiosity, 9 times out of 10 people will tell you eventually.
My mother used to tell me people treated me different when I was little because I am brown. I don't know if that was her paranoia or if it was truth. I did grow up in a suburb. As, I grew up I never realized my "color" because it was something that really didn't matter to me. Then I went to college, in Austin, a place that I found is not as racially harmonious as people there would like to think it is. I can't tell you HOW many times people asked what my ethnicity was there. Here in Houston, it's far and few between, maybe it's because Houston is a big melting pot of nationalities. Anyway, while I was in college depending on what race people decided I was depended on how much shit they would talk about another race. Oh, but they weren't racist. Gimme a break. It was strange to go into a world where the first question was "what are you" or "you're not Mexican are you" (as if it was a bad thing). I'll never forget the time a few guys thought my friend was a certain race (she wasn't even remotely close) and they were like, "yeah you can hang out with us 'cause your friend is *fill in race*". People, get past this. Listen to yourself the next time you start to say, "oh yeah those *fill in ethnicity* do that all the time." Modify your reality.
You can apply sexual orientation to the above and you must. Life is not about tolerance, it is about acceptance. I grew up around people and their racist opinions, even those who I love or are close to, don't realize how racist/prejudice they really are. I managed to mold my own appreciation for people. People should pay it forward, as in teach your children there is no color in love or relationships. I will leave this blog with a song, of course, and a little story.
I heard someone telling a story about 2 children. Both mixed. They were playing NBA Jams. The first child picked a one of the black players for his team. The other child asked,"Why did you pick that guy?" The first child explains his skills. The other child says,"No why did you pick him, he's black." This is a PRIME example of an adult influence over a small child. People teach not only your children, but your friends, family, co-workers acceptance by being the best person and role model you can be.
I leave you with this song by En Vogue. Totally thought about this song while I was running and contemplating this race thing...
Free your mind!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uaoSSVQz37A
by the way, En Vogue was tight...enjoy your OPEN MINDED weekend ;)
I am going to try my best to keep my thoughts organized this is a HUGE deal for me.
This blog was sparked by an early morning conversation with a very good friend of mine. She went on a date with someone who asked her if she ever dated "bi-racially". First, he's an idiot for not using the proper word for describing an "interracial" relationship. There were soo many things wrong with what she told me he said. First, you should know her and I are both mixed. I am not going to tell our races because they don't matter. The other reason is, and I am speaking generally, when you tell someone your race they automatically put you into a group or only identify you with ONE of the races you are mixed, and all of the stereotypes and generalizations that come with it. Most of the time if you are a minority mixed with Caucasian, people do not or will not allow you to identify yourself as white. Other times people won't allow you to identify yourself with the other race. When say I allow, yes you are allowed to do what ever you want, but the person will argue with you. Why can't you identify yourself with both? You ARE both races, why can't you identify with both? Why do people have such a hard time grasping the fact people ARE American. America is a melting pot of sooo many different types of people.
"You know you're racist when..."
What is this..."Oh that's why you...*fill in trait here* because you're *fill in race here*". People as much as you say you are not racist, you probably are. If you find yourself telling a story then feeling it's necessary to share person's race, as if it makes a difference in the person's character in your story, you're racist. If you find yourself saying, "I'm not racist I have *fill in race or sexual orientation here* friends", you're racist/prejudice. If you identify a certain race with stereotypes and other generalizations or you start a sentence with, "I"m not racist, but...". Guess what? You're racist. If you see a person's color first, ya know, you're kinda racist. Well, at least in my book. I see it like this. People are like The Breakfast Club. Granted, yes all the people in that movie are white, BUT the idea is still there. The letter they write to the principal at the end spells out exactly how I feel about EVERYONE! It goes like this...
"Dear Mr. Vernon, we accept the fact that we had to sacrifice a whole Saturday in detention for whatever it was we did wrong. What we did WAS wrong, but we think you're crazy to make us write an essay telling you who we think we are. You see us as you want to see us... In the simplest terms and the most convenient definitions. But what we found out is that each one of us is ... a brain ...and an athlete...and a basket case...a princess...and a criminal...Does that answer your question?
Sincerely yours, the Breakfast Club.".
Yes this was a bunch of teenagers shoved together in a John Hughes movie, but the last 3 sentences are truth. You see people how you want to see people! In every race there is a brain, an athlete, a basket case, a princess/prince, and a criminal. BOOM! There is no race that doesn't have any of those characteristics. Who gives a shit about statistics? Yes, your parents, your surroundings helped mold your view points, but you grow up and move out. You mold yourself and your children. It is up to you to see past physical characteristics to see the person and character inside and to teach your children that. It doesn't matter where you grew up, or where you've been. How are you treating and speaking about people today?
"What are you?" ~
Another one of my friends touched on this subject, she did made a very good point. Why do people need to know someone's ethnic background(s) so bad? First, I think it is SOOOO rude when someone has just barely met you and they ask "what are you" "what's your background" etc. Why does it matter so much? If I tell you and you don't like it, am I not worth your time anymore? In my opinion, solely MY opinion, I believe it does not matter. REALLY and TRULY. I NEVER ask people what their ethnic background is, sure I'm curious, but please explain to me what race, ethnicity, or sexual orientation has to do with anything? No one ever has an answer for me except they're curious. Save the curiosity, 9 times out of 10 people will tell you eventually.
My mother used to tell me people treated me different when I was little because I am brown. I don't know if that was her paranoia or if it was truth. I did grow up in a suburb. As, I grew up I never realized my "color" because it was something that really didn't matter to me. Then I went to college, in Austin, a place that I found is not as racially harmonious as people there would like to think it is. I can't tell you HOW many times people asked what my ethnicity was there. Here in Houston, it's far and few between, maybe it's because Houston is a big melting pot of nationalities. Anyway, while I was in college depending on what race people decided I was depended on how much shit they would talk about another race. Oh, but they weren't racist. Gimme a break. It was strange to go into a world where the first question was "what are you" or "you're not Mexican are you" (as if it was a bad thing). I'll never forget the time a few guys thought my friend was a certain race (she wasn't even remotely close) and they were like, "yeah you can hang out with us 'cause your friend is *fill in race*". People, get past this. Listen to yourself the next time you start to say, "oh yeah those *fill in ethnicity* do that all the time." Modify your reality.
You can apply sexual orientation to the above and you must. Life is not about tolerance, it is about acceptance. I grew up around people and their racist opinions, even those who I love or are close to, don't realize how racist/prejudice they really are. I managed to mold my own appreciation for people. People should pay it forward, as in teach your children there is no color in love or relationships. I will leave this blog with a song, of course, and a little story.
I heard someone telling a story about 2 children. Both mixed. They were playing NBA Jams. The first child picked a one of the black players for his team. The other child asked,"Why did you pick that guy?" The first child explains his skills. The other child says,"No why did you pick him, he's black." This is a PRIME example of an adult influence over a small child. People teach not only your children, but your friends, family, co-workers acceptance by being the best person and role model you can be.
I leave you with this song by En Vogue. Totally thought about this song while I was running and contemplating this race thing...
Free your mind!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uaoSSVQz37A
by the way, En Vogue was tight...enjoy your OPEN MINDED weekend ;)
Monday, August 1, 2011
Is there one in EVERY office?
I know many have suffered from an inconsiderate, gossip prone, RUDE, loud music listening co worker. At my place of work we refer to him as the Troll Badger. Cleverly named by yours truly. I would think by 49 you would understand social graces and common courtesy, this is not so for this fine specimen. I began work here last year in June. I was warned, but the Troll Badger seemed nice enough. He made an attempt to be friendly and speak to me. What I heard just could NOT be true.
WRONG!
Let's begin with his inappropriateness. He asked me to feel his muscle, because he believes he is "pretty ripped for an old guy". I said no thank you. He urged and urged for me to squeeze his pathetic bicep. So I poked it with my index finger. He says,"no squeeze it." I said, "No, thank you, I'm good." He continued to tell me how he works out with his trainer and how he got his ass kicked. I humored him, because I really didn't see any harm in it, at the time, and suggested drinking protein right after workouts etc. Why don't we ever listen to people who have probably experienced something terrible and are trying to give us a hint. It's because we are human.
Since he has seen me at the gym working my lil' patootie off, I guess he also thought he needed to comment on whatever I was eating whenever I was eating. ANNOYING! For instance, if I happened to sneak a little bite sized candy, ONE ONLY ONE. I would hear, "you know how long you'll have to be on the treadmill to burn that off?". Seriously, Mr. Chunky Troll Badger telling someone else how to eat? People should mind their own bidness when it comes to food. No one wants your comments about what they are eating. Let a girl eat in peace!
Those are just a few examples. What brings me to this subject today is.... ETIQUETTE in the work place.
Not only does he listen to Katy Perry, Pink, Taylor Swift, and whatever else you will find on a NOW! cd at FULL BLAST. He plays his videos games loudly and most annoyingly I could hear him cuss people out and tell them to "blow him" or anything else involving his nuts. BLECK! Other people are making IMPORTANT phone calls. Hey here's an idea CLOSE YOUR DOOR.
I put up with this for a very long time before requesting to move desks. I am quite content where I am now However, he manages to spread his Troll Badger wealth around the office. He comes and hovers in my work new area (he has no reason to be over here). He goes into my boss's office right when he gets there. I ain't skeered, because unlike him, I am working. Most recently, he brings the "stank food" to work. Great, you're eating healthy. There are ways to manage your food stank. Try spraying lysol after you warm up or even COVERING your food in the microwave. No one wants to put their cold need to be warmed up lunch in a cavern of exploded and burnt chicken and fish guts. He leaves his food to rot in the fridge. People, if you forget its understandable, but for the LOVE OF THE LORD ALMIGHTY clean it out so that it does not cause a foul odor. Then put your container somewhere where only YOU will have to sit in your own stank.
Last, but not least. As Thumper once said to Bambi,"Momma always said if ya don't got nuthin' nice to say don't say nuthin' at all." Yes, Troll Badger ranted and raved about a young lady and her "piggishness." He sharing as loud as he could and also with the building across the highway. He thought this lady looked like a pig. She doesn't eat healthy nor take care of herself. This coming from someone licks his fingers up and down the hallways. He said she's unhealthy. Well, Mr. Office Troll Badger, little did I know only eating lean cuisine's and muscle milk was a healthy diet, which miraculously gives you a nice sized gut to hang over your short little pants. I can see he is the virtue of health, which is why he holds a striking resemblance Quasimodo with a badger face. Those who live in glass houses should not throw stones. As I type that, I realize I too am not saying anything nice nor am I keeping my stones to myself. If he wasn't ever so deserving of such insult I might feel a bit bothered by my rant, but I don't, and well, HE IS THE PIG.
I could go on about the Office Troll Badger. I am soo sorry if you have one in your office. They are uncontrollable and unforgiving. All you can do is pray for you to accept and tolerate this being and pray that one day he/she will see the err in his/her ways. I have been thinking of writing a book of office etiquette in an attempt to educate your local office troll badger. It is not okay to cough/sneeze without covering your mouth. It is not okay to begin a conversation with someone and when they reciprocate to tell them you don't care. It is not okay to try and push your weight around the office because you think you're a bad ass, when really all anyone sees is a sorry little troll badger with no social skills.
AAAHHHH, ok. work out of my system. Lets go workout!
WRONG!
Let's begin with his inappropriateness. He asked me to feel his muscle, because he believes he is "pretty ripped for an old guy". I said no thank you. He urged and urged for me to squeeze his pathetic bicep. So I poked it with my index finger. He says,"no squeeze it." I said, "No, thank you, I'm good." He continued to tell me how he works out with his trainer and how he got his ass kicked. I humored him, because I really didn't see any harm in it, at the time, and suggested drinking protein right after workouts etc. Why don't we ever listen to people who have probably experienced something terrible and are trying to give us a hint. It's because we are human.
Since he has seen me at the gym working my lil' patootie off, I guess he also thought he needed to comment on whatever I was eating whenever I was eating. ANNOYING! For instance, if I happened to sneak a little bite sized candy, ONE ONLY ONE. I would hear, "you know how long you'll have to be on the treadmill to burn that off?". Seriously, Mr. Chunky Troll Badger telling someone else how to eat? People should mind their own bidness when it comes to food. No one wants your comments about what they are eating. Let a girl eat in peace!
Those are just a few examples. What brings me to this subject today is.... ETIQUETTE in the work place.
Not only does he listen to Katy Perry, Pink, Taylor Swift, and whatever else you will find on a NOW! cd at FULL BLAST. He plays his videos games loudly and most annoyingly I could hear him cuss people out and tell them to "blow him" or anything else involving his nuts. BLECK! Other people are making IMPORTANT phone calls. Hey here's an idea CLOSE YOUR DOOR.
I put up with this for a very long time before requesting to move desks. I am quite content where I am now However, he manages to spread his Troll Badger wealth around the office. He comes and hovers in my work new area (he has no reason to be over here). He goes into my boss's office right when he gets there. I ain't skeered, because unlike him, I am working. Most recently, he brings the "stank food" to work. Great, you're eating healthy. There are ways to manage your food stank. Try spraying lysol after you warm up or even COVERING your food in the microwave. No one wants to put their cold need to be warmed up lunch in a cavern of exploded and burnt chicken and fish guts. He leaves his food to rot in the fridge. People, if you forget its understandable, but for the LOVE OF THE LORD ALMIGHTY clean it out so that it does not cause a foul odor. Then put your container somewhere where only YOU will have to sit in your own stank.
Last, but not least. As Thumper once said to Bambi,"Momma always said if ya don't got nuthin' nice to say don't say nuthin' at all." Yes, Troll Badger ranted and raved about a young lady and her "piggishness." He sharing as loud as he could and also with the building across the highway. He thought this lady looked like a pig. She doesn't eat healthy nor take care of herself. This coming from someone licks his fingers up and down the hallways. He said she's unhealthy. Well, Mr. Office Troll Badger, little did I know only eating lean cuisine's and muscle milk was a healthy diet, which miraculously gives you a nice sized gut to hang over your short little pants. I can see he is the virtue of health, which is why he holds a striking resemblance Quasimodo with a badger face. Those who live in glass houses should not throw stones. As I type that, I realize I too am not saying anything nice nor am I keeping my stones to myself. If he wasn't ever so deserving of such insult I might feel a bit bothered by my rant, but I don't, and well, HE IS THE PIG.
I could go on about the Office Troll Badger. I am soo sorry if you have one in your office. They are uncontrollable and unforgiving. All you can do is pray for you to accept and tolerate this being and pray that one day he/she will see the err in his/her ways. I have been thinking of writing a book of office etiquette in an attempt to educate your local office troll badger. It is not okay to cough/sneeze without covering your mouth. It is not okay to begin a conversation with someone and when they reciprocate to tell them you don't care. It is not okay to try and push your weight around the office because you think you're a bad ass, when really all anyone sees is a sorry little troll badger with no social skills.
AAAHHHH, ok. work out of my system. Lets go workout!
Saturday, July 30, 2011
Don't be a hater, be a congratulater!
Whew! That last blog was a doozie huh? I know a lot of you have questions and I will give the answers at the end. I want to start on a good note this Saturday morning.
Each subject I touch on today is how to not be a hater, rather a congratulater. I'm sure you will see the theme throughout ;)
I run at Memorial Park here in Houston, TX, I TRY every Saturday/Sunday...sometimes I make time for some fun ;) I try to make exercising fun. I don't care what these strangers think of me, they are just strangers. So YES I sing out loud, YES I attempt to dance and fist pump while I'm running AND HELL YES I SMILE AT EVERYONE! Why not?! What's worse going along minding your own bidness or brightening someone else's day with a quick hello followed by a smile?
I always start running near the golf course, because when I get to the end, for some reason it seems shorter to me. Whatever works right? Anyway, so I'm turning the corner of my first mile, and I see a girl running toward me wearing my damn outfit! Which is probably not hard to do, considering I was wearing a red shirt and black capris. So I ran up to her and I was like, "Hey I like your outfit!" She laughed and said,"Hey, I like yours too!" Ha! What a way to begin a run!
So here I am truckin' it listening to my jams, which I will recommend some workout songs later. As I'm running, I see a lady in silver HEELS (yes walking on gravel) in a bathing suit cover up dress, twerkin' it like NOBODY's bidness! At first I was like, daaaaaanng guhl, look at you so desperate to try and hook on the runnin' trail. Then I thought about it and I was like ya know what? Try that again, so I thought to myself DANG GUHL, you go on and get you some cardio in before the pool and so I also said that aloud to her. She smiled and the guy she was walking with laughed.
Needless to say, I do a few things along those lines every time I am at the park. Why not make your exercise time fun?
Music~
K, peeps. I try to keep my workouts interesting. That being said here are 2 songs that always get me movin' a little faster..
First... Kelly Rowland & David Guetta "When Love Takes Over"...just click the link!
http://youtu.be/e77OFfucqn0
Second, Marky Mark's "Good Vibrations"...what! You know you jam this shit. Its good! Although, homeboy does spell druggie...D R U G G I E Y, but that's okay Marky Mark, you don't need to be able to spell to stay sober and be all sassy in them Calvin Klein ads! He obviously couldn't spell in "Fear" either...FOREVA! I think this video will embed...if not I am posting the youtube link below it.
<iframe width="425" height="349" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/-eSN8Cwit_s" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>
http://youtu.be/-eSN8Cwit_s
Aaaahhhh YYEAAAH...look at that FUNKY BUNCH! bahahah! Anyway, while I'm on the music tip...
Where the crap is Prince? He is a such a great artist, if he isn't making music he should at least be a music trainer. With Prince on my mind I will leave one more video, a classic.
<iframe width="425" height="349" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/5l75skRMlXk" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>
http://youtu.be/5l75skRMlXk
Where the crap is....~
Speaking of where the crap is...where the crap is Calista Flockheart? I may have just butchered her name, but you get the point. I was reminded of her today whilst I got sucked into watching HBO's all too classic "Life Stories, Families in Crisis". She was in the episode about the anorexic/bulimic girl, which they never said what happened to her, she just ran into the woods and faded into the distance. Yes, I know, EDIE use the clues and common sense. BUT it was late 80's early 90's and cheesy. I am not making light of a serious disorder, but more so the cinematography. Another good one was Ben Affleck and his addiction to steroids. Remember he pushed or punched Evie, from that wizard or witch show...ooohh what was it called I watched it all the time! OUT OF THIS WORLD! That's what it was, and she was half alien not witch. Whatever...let me get back to the topic at hand...WHERE IS CALISTA FLOCKHEART? Did she ever marry Harrison Ford?
Pop Culture~
I am going to ride on the coattails of Horrible Bosses to talk about one insane boss who has gotten to me soo much I STILL to this day bitch about her. Amazing huh? First, I want to see that movie because I have always loved Jason Bateman, yes, even since the Hogan Family (google it) days. WHICH I might add Mrs. Pool's real name is Edie McClurg. You are surrounded by Edie's you just don't know it! Anyway, I am looking forward to seeing that movie.
Horrible Bosses brings me to my old boss. I have let her get the best of me. MARK my words. This will be the last time I mention her. I will not continue to let her get to me by speaking of her anymore. OKAY. So I worked for this woman who was not intelligent, who was the devil in disguise, who claimed to try and make herself a better person every day, who also was a flat assed, saucer eyed troll who lives on the other side of the bridge from the 3 billy goats gruff. I will spare you the stories because this blog would be angry and uber LOOONNGGG, and my point is to leave with feelings of relief and good fluffy clouds and care bear happiness. Here WE goooo...
"I hate to be the barrel of bad news" the correct way: "the bearer of bad news"
"play-do" the correct way: "play-doh"
"Are we all in agreeance?" the correct way: "agreement"
"Irregardless" the correct way: "regardless" irregardless, is pretty much a double negative, kinda like "I don't not like to run."
"Edie I thought it was very gracious of me to give you time off when your father passed"
*this was after I confronted her and told her she sought out to find things I did wrong.
"why would you need to rent your car in Dallas?"
*this was after someone hit me and I was using sarcasm to say I had to drive to the far end of North Austin to pick up the rental car.
"wait can you really get cancer from thinking too hard?"
*first this makes me wanna say, "Its not a tumor" and this was after someone jokingly said, "Well don't think too hard, you'll get cancer."
"I think I figured out how the universe evens out. See I saw a lady driving the Mercedes I wanted, but then I heard her talking about how depressed she was because her mother was sick. So yes she is rich in one way but she is suffering in another. I have a great life but not the car I want. It evens out."
HOOOOO KAY! That is the last time I speak of this wretched woman. I am excited to see Horrible Bosses and cannot wait to get a GOOD laugh out of it!
To answer some of your questions...
I was diagnosed with heart disease through an ear infection. My balance was off, I was hot and sweaty for no reason, and pale. I was in between insurances, as I just started a new job, the first Dr. I saw said when you get insurance go to a cardiologist. I had to get a referral from my general practitioner before I did that once I got my insurance. I went through a bunch of Dr.'s (6) who made me believe I was crazy and seeing my heart beat in my carotid next to my collar bone is just something I had to live with. I knew I wasn't crazy. So I lied and got a referral to a cardiologist with some push from my father. I went and my blood pressure was 188/110, STROKE territory! So I say this, always get more than one opinion. You know your body and you know when something is wrong. I don't suggest forging a referral as I did, but break them Dr.'s down. Do the research!
In closing, if you see someone that you begin make a judgement about, think about it, turn it around and get a smile out of it! After all, you need to focus and take care of YOU first!
Each subject I touch on today is how to not be a hater, rather a congratulater. I'm sure you will see the theme throughout ;)
I run at Memorial Park here in Houston, TX, I TRY every Saturday/Sunday...sometimes I make time for some fun ;) I try to make exercising fun. I don't care what these strangers think of me, they are just strangers. So YES I sing out loud, YES I attempt to dance and fist pump while I'm running AND HELL YES I SMILE AT EVERYONE! Why not?! What's worse going along minding your own bidness or brightening someone else's day with a quick hello followed by a smile?
I always start running near the golf course, because when I get to the end, for some reason it seems shorter to me. Whatever works right? Anyway, so I'm turning the corner of my first mile, and I see a girl running toward me wearing my damn outfit! Which is probably not hard to do, considering I was wearing a red shirt and black capris. So I ran up to her and I was like, "Hey I like your outfit!" She laughed and said,"Hey, I like yours too!" Ha! What a way to begin a run!
So here I am truckin' it listening to my jams, which I will recommend some workout songs later. As I'm running, I see a lady in silver HEELS (yes walking on gravel) in a bathing suit cover up dress, twerkin' it like NOBODY's bidness! At first I was like, daaaaaanng guhl, look at you so desperate to try and hook on the runnin' trail. Then I thought about it and I was like ya know what? Try that again, so I thought to myself DANG GUHL, you go on and get you some cardio in before the pool and so I also said that aloud to her. She smiled and the guy she was walking with laughed.
Needless to say, I do a few things along those lines every time I am at the park. Why not make your exercise time fun?
Music~
K, peeps. I try to keep my workouts interesting. That being said here are 2 songs that always get me movin' a little faster..
First... Kelly Rowland & David Guetta "When Love Takes Over"...just click the link!
http://youtu.be/e77OFfucqn0
Second, Marky Mark's "Good Vibrations"...what! You know you jam this shit. Its good! Although, homeboy does spell druggie...D R U G G I E Y, but that's okay Marky Mark, you don't need to be able to spell to stay sober and be all sassy in them Calvin Klein ads! He obviously couldn't spell in "Fear" either...FOREVA! I think this video will embed...if not I am posting the youtube link below it.
<iframe width="425" height="349" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/-eSN8Cwit_s" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>
http://youtu.be/-eSN8Cwit_s
Aaaahhhh YYEAAAH...look at that FUNKY BUNCH! bahahah! Anyway, while I'm on the music tip...
Where the crap is Prince? He is a such a great artist, if he isn't making music he should at least be a music trainer. With Prince on my mind I will leave one more video, a classic.
<iframe width="425" height="349" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/5l75skRMlXk" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>
http://youtu.be/5l75skRMlXk
Where the crap is....~
Speaking of where the crap is...where the crap is Calista Flockheart? I may have just butchered her name, but you get the point. I was reminded of her today whilst I got sucked into watching HBO's all too classic "Life Stories, Families in Crisis". She was in the episode about the anorexic/bulimic girl, which they never said what happened to her, she just ran into the woods and faded into the distance. Yes, I know, EDIE use the clues and common sense. BUT it was late 80's early 90's and cheesy. I am not making light of a serious disorder, but more so the cinematography. Another good one was Ben Affleck and his addiction to steroids. Remember he pushed or punched Evie, from that wizard or witch show...ooohh what was it called I watched it all the time! OUT OF THIS WORLD! That's what it was, and she was half alien not witch. Whatever...let me get back to the topic at hand...WHERE IS CALISTA FLOCKHEART? Did she ever marry Harrison Ford?
Pop Culture~
I am going to ride on the coattails of Horrible Bosses to talk about one insane boss who has gotten to me soo much I STILL to this day bitch about her. Amazing huh? First, I want to see that movie because I have always loved Jason Bateman, yes, even since the Hogan Family (google it) days. WHICH I might add Mrs. Pool's real name is Edie McClurg. You are surrounded by Edie's you just don't know it! Anyway, I am looking forward to seeing that movie.
Horrible Bosses brings me to my old boss. I have let her get the best of me. MARK my words. This will be the last time I mention her. I will not continue to let her get to me by speaking of her anymore. OKAY. So I worked for this woman who was not intelligent, who was the devil in disguise, who claimed to try and make herself a better person every day, who also was a flat assed, saucer eyed troll who lives on the other side of the bridge from the 3 billy goats gruff. I will spare you the stories because this blog would be angry and uber LOOONNGGG, and my point is to leave with feelings of relief and good fluffy clouds and care bear happiness. Here WE goooo...
"I hate to be the barrel of bad news" the correct way: "the bearer of bad news"
"play-do" the correct way: "play-doh"
"Are we all in agreeance?" the correct way: "agreement"
"Irregardless" the correct way: "regardless" irregardless, is pretty much a double negative, kinda like "I don't not like to run."
"Edie I thought it was very gracious of me to give you time off when your father passed"
*this was after I confronted her and told her she sought out to find things I did wrong.
"why would you need to rent your car in Dallas?"
*this was after someone hit me and I was using sarcasm to say I had to drive to the far end of North Austin to pick up the rental car.
"wait can you really get cancer from thinking too hard?"
*first this makes me wanna say, "Its not a tumor" and this was after someone jokingly said, "Well don't think too hard, you'll get cancer."
"I think I figured out how the universe evens out. See I saw a lady driving the Mercedes I wanted, but then I heard her talking about how depressed she was because her mother was sick. So yes she is rich in one way but she is suffering in another. I have a great life but not the car I want. It evens out."
HOOOOO KAY! That is the last time I speak of this wretched woman. I am excited to see Horrible Bosses and cannot wait to get a GOOD laugh out of it!
To answer some of your questions...
I was diagnosed with heart disease through an ear infection. My balance was off, I was hot and sweaty for no reason, and pale. I was in between insurances, as I just started a new job, the first Dr. I saw said when you get insurance go to a cardiologist. I had to get a referral from my general practitioner before I did that once I got my insurance. I went through a bunch of Dr.'s (6) who made me believe I was crazy and seeing my heart beat in my carotid next to my collar bone is just something I had to live with. I knew I wasn't crazy. So I lied and got a referral to a cardiologist with some push from my father. I went and my blood pressure was 188/110, STROKE territory! So I say this, always get more than one opinion. You know your body and you know when something is wrong. I don't suggest forging a referral as I did, but break them Dr.'s down. Do the research!
In closing, if you see someone that you begin make a judgement about, think about it, turn it around and get a smile out of it! After all, you need to focus and take care of YOU first!
Friday, July 29, 2011
Life After Death
So this blog is going to be a bit on the serious side. I wasn't going to bring this up, but I feel like it will be helpful, not only for me, but for people I know who suffer in the same manner I do. Dealing with the death of a loved one is tough. We all grieve differently. This last Monday marked 4 years since my father has passed away. My father and I were very close. It was/is hard for me to actually make myself realize that he is gone. I coped. First, with seclusion, then with drinking, and finally I pulled myself out of the funk I was in and focused on my health. After all, my father died from his 2nd heart attack. I have to say I went through every part of the grieving process, if there is even a grieving protocol. I still go through guilt. I feel like I should have known more, done more, been a better person, mostly not let him worry so much about me. I was diagnosed with heart disease at 26, I know he worried, we used to take our blood pressure together. He had his first heart attack when I was 20. I still wish I could have done/helped/did something more, even as little as just called the day he died like my instinct kept pushing me to. I'm a dweller so learning how to come to terms with all of this pain and hurt was a huge process. Especially, since I never lost a loved one as close as my father before.
I have a few friends who are in the early stages of dealing with the death of a loved one, who aren't coping very well. I wanted to share this with them, and you all, to let you know that there is life after death. I also wanted to show sometimes writing helps. Even if no one reads it. Write and throw it away, just get it out before it eats you alive. After realizing I would like to be around for my loved ones as long as I can, I changed my lifestyle. Eating healthier, making better well informed decisions, exercising, putting my efforts and time to helping others understand what they put into their bodies REALLY does matter.
I have seen that many of my family members, immediate and distant, have inherited this terrible illness, or related illnesses. I know that I do not want to see them go. So as I share this with you, I want you to take a look at your health. Think about your families and make the changes you need to survive. I encourage you to bite the bullet and ask for help. Health is a complicated thing and most people don't know as much as they think about nutrition. I have seen this illness affect me and my family and it ain't pretty. So what am I getting at with all of this rambling? Here is a bit from a blog I posted shortly after my father passed....
First I just want to say thank you for being such a great support system. It makes times like these easier. In case you have no clue what is going on, I didn't really tell many people about this because well I don't like to confront issues like these. Anyway, my Father of only 59 yrs passed away yesterday. My father and I were very close, and depending on how well you knew me, you knew I was a daddy's girl and that my father and I were very close. I need to get this outta my system so I'm just going to start from point a.
I was at work at around 4pm I get a phone call from "homenthawood", is what it says on my phone, and smiled because I was thinking it was my parents because I hadn't spoken to them that day, yet. Mind you I called my parents 2 plus times a day, just to hear their voices. Instead of a goofy call from my parents it was my mother panicking because she found my father hunched over and purple. I immediately asked if she called 911, she said my older brother did and my youngest brother was on his way home and Elizabeth my sister was out of town. So I immediately start bawling. My heart was broken. I called Jaime my supervisor and told her I'm going home because my father was dead. GOD its soo hard to say that or even believe it. During this time I just begin to feel sick and soooo hurt and terrible for living in Austin, thinking who's going to take care of my mother (mom is in a wheel chair right now) and WHY MY DAD...WHY??? WHY SOOO SOON...I was going to come home this weekend anyway. I didn't get to talk to him yesterday. Which really hurt. I even thought about calling but I put it off. I was panicking I couldn't breathe, I was gagging, I was hyperventilating, rolling on the ground, crouched over, I couldn't think I couldn't see anything. All I wanted to do was go home and be with my daddy.
Jessica stayed with me while I went through my breakdown. I didn't care who saw me or heard me. Well, until one of the kids parents came, I moved my reaction behind the school. My boss came and picked me up along with my co-worker Monique. Man they had it all together, I sure as hell didn't I would have driven home in my state, which probably wouldn't have been very safe especially in the rain.
They let me cry for awhile, well at that point it was beyond crying it was more a tantrum because I couldn't understand why MY dad why??? This whole thing was sooo unexpected. Monique and Jaime took me to my apartment and booked me a flight. Monique was incredible she really kept it together. I was hysterical and didnt care what I was saying I just let it all out. I made arrangements for my pup to be looked after, which I miss him so much. It was weird I was not in my shoes. I was just floating through actions....I had NO clue what I was doing, what I was packing, where I was going. All I knew is I needed to be home for my mom and to actually see my dad was gone. Mind you I am cryin hysterically this entire time. If it wasn't for them I would have never made it as quickly as I did. I get on the plane the tears did not stop. I havent stopped really cryin since yesterday. My body aches, but so does my heart.
Richard came and picked me up from the airport and drove me to the ER where my father was. I was soo nervous I was sick. I can't believe this is happening. Elliott, my younger brother, met me outside, and all I could do was fall in his arms and cry. All day I had been feeling faint, and well my appetite isnt so great right now either. He walks Richard and I into the ER near the room where my father was. I walk up see my family, see the bed, not my father yet, and run out the doors and cry so hard I fall to the ground. I have never experienced such heart break in my life.
I was soo nervous about seeing him in his condition. I stayed outside until I was ready to go back in. I walk in and collapse. I sat in a chair and just leaned over my dad hyperventilating and squeezing my dad and crying why my dad why my dad over and over again. I kept waiting for him to wake up. That time never came. The funeral home arrived and they were ready to pick him up and it was time to go home. But I didn't want to leave I fought it. I said NO I'M NOT READY TO GO. I stayed and hugged and kissed my dad until they pulled me out. I just turned and cried in Richard's arms. That seems all I have been capable of doing. My body aches, I'm sore. My chest aches because my heart is broken. So I get carried home and just lay across the couch, I can't sleep because I just want to cry. My mother didn't sleep at all. I really wanted to be and tried to be strong for my mother, but it was soo hard. My dad and I were soo close.
My sister was away on a vacation in Florida shes on her way home, they drove. All day today, I have been crying and trying to pull it together. I have been in charge of a few things like choosing music, pictures, psalms, and getting phone number of my dads friends. Its been a real struggle, it feels soo surreal. Its UNREAL. UNBELIEVABLE. NOT MY DAD. WHY MY DAD!!! I can't take this. I'm so nervous for the viewing and the funeral, I really hope I can pull myself together for my mother and my brothers and sister. I guess right now I just needed to share what I have been feeling and going through.
My heart has been broken for the first time in my life. This is the worst feeling anyone could have.
In case, you wanna know a little bit about my dad. He was witty sarcastic and easy going. He was a lot like me, or I should say I am a lot like him. I loved coming home and seeing my dad waiting in the driveway, or walking in the door and saying my nickname or "do I smell an Edie". I miss him already. Right now it just seems like he is out of town, even though I know better. I just keep waiting for him to walk around the corner or tell me I messed up another car. I want him back and I want him now. Everyone LOVED Mr. Konicki. I miss him telling my friends to not park their jap crap in our drive way or asking them if they took a taxi to the curb, if they parked too far from the curb.
I'm going to miss my father a great deal. I'm going to apologize in advance because this will take me a long time to get over so please bear with me as I go through this change. I thank you all for all the support.
Lets take a look. It still hurts to read that. It hurts because it makes me realize he isn't here to see the house we bought, to walk me down the aisle at my wedding. He isn't here to see my dogs and tease how he doesn't like animals, but then feed them and take them for morning walks. He isn't here to see my children. My father took too much on. He felt he HAD to take care of everyone, even when he knew he was ill. He was a very selfless person. As I was having a panic attack at the church and I was crying WHY???!!! to my sister, she said, he just couldn't do it anymore. She was right. I still feel like I should have done more, taken better care of my father.
After all of that I made it 4 yrs still wishing my father was here. Ya know, what? He IS still here! He is here in my dreams and he is here in presence. He is here while I'm working out, he is here when I just can't take it anymore and I persevere. He is here telling me that I need to be with the people I love as long and as much as possible. Your loved ones will always be with you in spirit and in memory. They are the ones help you cope. They are the ones SCREAMING AT YOU DON'T LET THE DEATH OF A LOVED ONE BE THE NEXT TIME YOU SEE YOUR FRIENDS AND FAMILY!!!!! One funny thing that the passing of loved ones brings is people closer sharing the great memories they have experienced. People don't let time get the best of you. Use it to your advantage. Make it stretch. It is your responsibility to be on this earth as long as you can. While you're here...make a few friends, enjoy the old ones, and make sure your family knows you care. Life can go on after death, but only if you let it.
I'm sorry to start your weekend like this. I thought it was important. I hope you use this blog to have the best most purposeful weekend in your life!
I have a few friends who are in the early stages of dealing with the death of a loved one, who aren't coping very well. I wanted to share this with them, and you all, to let you know that there is life after death. I also wanted to show sometimes writing helps. Even if no one reads it. Write and throw it away, just get it out before it eats you alive. After realizing I would like to be around for my loved ones as long as I can, I changed my lifestyle. Eating healthier, making better well informed decisions, exercising, putting my efforts and time to helping others understand what they put into their bodies REALLY does matter.
I have seen that many of my family members, immediate and distant, have inherited this terrible illness, or related illnesses. I know that I do not want to see them go. So as I share this with you, I want you to take a look at your health. Think about your families and make the changes you need to survive. I encourage you to bite the bullet and ask for help. Health is a complicated thing and most people don't know as much as they think about nutrition. I have seen this illness affect me and my family and it ain't pretty. So what am I getting at with all of this rambling? Here is a bit from a blog I posted shortly after my father passed....
First I just want to say thank you for being such a great support system. It makes times like these easier. In case you have no clue what is going on, I didn't really tell many people about this because well I don't like to confront issues like these. Anyway, my Father of only 59 yrs passed away yesterday. My father and I were very close, and depending on how well you knew me, you knew I was a daddy's girl and that my father and I were very close. I need to get this outta my system so I'm just going to start from point a.
I was at work at around 4pm I get a phone call from "homenthawood", is what it says on my phone, and smiled because I was thinking it was my parents because I hadn't spoken to them that day, yet. Mind you I called my parents 2 plus times a day, just to hear their voices. Instead of a goofy call from my parents it was my mother panicking because she found my father hunched over and purple. I immediately asked if she called 911, she said my older brother did and my youngest brother was on his way home and Elizabeth my sister was out of town. So I immediately start bawling. My heart was broken. I called Jaime my supervisor and told her I'm going home because my father was dead. GOD its soo hard to say that or even believe it. During this time I just begin to feel sick and soooo hurt and terrible for living in Austin, thinking who's going to take care of my mother (mom is in a wheel chair right now) and WHY MY DAD...WHY??? WHY SOOO SOON...I was going to come home this weekend anyway. I didn't get to talk to him yesterday. Which really hurt. I even thought about calling but I put it off. I was panicking I couldn't breathe, I was gagging, I was hyperventilating, rolling on the ground, crouched over, I couldn't think I couldn't see anything. All I wanted to do was go home and be with my daddy.
Jessica stayed with me while I went through my breakdown. I didn't care who saw me or heard me. Well, until one of the kids parents came, I moved my reaction behind the school. My boss came and picked me up along with my co-worker Monique. Man they had it all together, I sure as hell didn't I would have driven home in my state, which probably wouldn't have been very safe especially in the rain.
They let me cry for awhile, well at that point it was beyond crying it was more a tantrum because I couldn't understand why MY dad why??? This whole thing was sooo unexpected. Monique and Jaime took me to my apartment and booked me a flight. Monique was incredible she really kept it together. I was hysterical and didnt care what I was saying I just let it all out. I made arrangements for my pup to be looked after, which I miss him so much. It was weird I was not in my shoes. I was just floating through actions....I had NO clue what I was doing, what I was packing, where I was going. All I knew is I needed to be home for my mom and to actually see my dad was gone. Mind you I am cryin hysterically this entire time. If it wasn't for them I would have never made it as quickly as I did. I get on the plane the tears did not stop. I havent stopped really cryin since yesterday. My body aches, but so does my heart.
Richard came and picked me up from the airport and drove me to the ER where my father was. I was soo nervous I was sick. I can't believe this is happening. Elliott, my younger brother, met me outside, and all I could do was fall in his arms and cry. All day I had been feeling faint, and well my appetite isnt so great right now either. He walks Richard and I into the ER near the room where my father was. I walk up see my family, see the bed, not my father yet, and run out the doors and cry so hard I fall to the ground. I have never experienced such heart break in my life.
I was soo nervous about seeing him in his condition. I stayed outside until I was ready to go back in. I walk in and collapse. I sat in a chair and just leaned over my dad hyperventilating and squeezing my dad and crying why my dad why my dad over and over again. I kept waiting for him to wake up. That time never came. The funeral home arrived and they were ready to pick him up and it was time to go home. But I didn't want to leave I fought it. I said NO I'M NOT READY TO GO. I stayed and hugged and kissed my dad until they pulled me out. I just turned and cried in Richard's arms. That seems all I have been capable of doing. My body aches, I'm sore. My chest aches because my heart is broken. So I get carried home and just lay across the couch, I can't sleep because I just want to cry. My mother didn't sleep at all. I really wanted to be and tried to be strong for my mother, but it was soo hard. My dad and I were soo close.
My sister was away on a vacation in Florida shes on her way home, they drove. All day today, I have been crying and trying to pull it together. I have been in charge of a few things like choosing music, pictures, psalms, and getting phone number of my dads friends. Its been a real struggle, it feels soo surreal. Its UNREAL. UNBELIEVABLE. NOT MY DAD. WHY MY DAD!!! I can't take this. I'm so nervous for the viewing and the funeral, I really hope I can pull myself together for my mother and my brothers and sister. I guess right now I just needed to share what I have been feeling and going through.
My heart has been broken for the first time in my life. This is the worst feeling anyone could have.
In case, you wanna know a little bit about my dad. He was witty sarcastic and easy going. He was a lot like me, or I should say I am a lot like him. I loved coming home and seeing my dad waiting in the driveway, or walking in the door and saying my nickname or "do I smell an Edie". I miss him already. Right now it just seems like he is out of town, even though I know better. I just keep waiting for him to walk around the corner or tell me I messed up another car. I want him back and I want him now. Everyone LOVED Mr. Konicki. I miss him telling my friends to not park their jap crap in our drive way or asking them if they took a taxi to the curb, if they parked too far from the curb.
I'm going to miss my father a great deal. I'm going to apologize in advance because this will take me a long time to get over so please bear with me as I go through this change. I thank you all for all the support.
Lets take a look. It still hurts to read that. It hurts because it makes me realize he isn't here to see the house we bought, to walk me down the aisle at my wedding. He isn't here to see my dogs and tease how he doesn't like animals, but then feed them and take them for morning walks. He isn't here to see my children. My father took too much on. He felt he HAD to take care of everyone, even when he knew he was ill. He was a very selfless person. As I was having a panic attack at the church and I was crying WHY???!!! to my sister, she said, he just couldn't do it anymore. She was right. I still feel like I should have done more, taken better care of my father.
After all of that I made it 4 yrs still wishing my father was here. Ya know, what? He IS still here! He is here in my dreams and he is here in presence. He is here while I'm working out, he is here when I just can't take it anymore and I persevere. He is here telling me that I need to be with the people I love as long and as much as possible. Your loved ones will always be with you in spirit and in memory. They are the ones help you cope. They are the ones SCREAMING AT YOU DON'T LET THE DEATH OF A LOVED ONE BE THE NEXT TIME YOU SEE YOUR FRIENDS AND FAMILY!!!!! One funny thing that the passing of loved ones brings is people closer sharing the great memories they have experienced. People don't let time get the best of you. Use it to your advantage. Make it stretch. It is your responsibility to be on this earth as long as you can. While you're here...make a few friends, enjoy the old ones, and make sure your family knows you care. Life can go on after death, but only if you let it.
I'm sorry to start your weekend like this. I thought it was important. I hope you use this blog to have the best most purposeful weekend in your life!
Thursday, July 28, 2011
Gimme a DAMN Break! ~Better said by Nell Carter ;)
Well, I am going to try and get comfortable with this whole blogging thang, so practice makes perfect right? Right. I have to say my last one was kinda weak, almost as weak as the Jay Z/Kanye song I referred to in my last blog. Ah, but to the point. Let's get started.
I thought about a few things this morning that made me smile. The first being...drum roll please...CLICHES!
GOOD GOD! Stop with the "it is what it is" and "at the end of the day". Can you not think of a better way to transition to your next thought? Is it really what it is? When it is stated, isn't someone on the other end of that thinking it isn't? What is it really? Yes, maybe it is what it is, so that's why you said it. Do you need to make sure people know that by saying,"it is what it is"? On, on to the next one..."at the end of the day". Why wait that long to validate something? Couldn't it be the same at the beginning of the day? Is this getting confusing yet? Look, I'm not saying don't use cliches. They are applicable in every day life. Just please try and stay away from the ones the idiots on reality TV use, constantly, at the end of every sentence in every episode of whatever housewife, bridezilla, real world (is that show even on anymore) type show you watch. I am not saying anything is wrong with reality TV. SHOOOTT, I love me some Jersey Shore. What? I do. I have a pair of damn Snooki slippers, which are rismiculously comfortable and loudly animal printed. I also have a lil' semi crush on Walter Mathou's twin, The Situation. So I'll just finish this section saying, well dawg, it is what it is and the end of the day you're the one that makes the decision. ;p Gimme a damn break!
"I'm too old for that"
That is the WORST saying I hear regularly. You make yourself too old to do stuff. Once again of course there are boundaries, but seriously have some fun with your life! It doesn't mean you have to go out and get wasted all the time. Enjoy life. If you get an invitation from a friend to do something out of the ordinary. Go Nike and just do it! What is there to lose? You get to spend time with a friend you may or may not see enough AND you have experienced something. Now I will step off my high horse and move on.
What the hell~
What the hell does a hash tag do? What is it's purpose? "'Splain me Lucy!" I see them all the time. I know you use them but ya know I don't get it. Maybe I'm too old for this social network stuff ;)
Music~
Let me touch on some pop culture...Beyonce...who is also known to me as Beyonstank.
I used to be such a BIG fan of Destiny's Child. I was almost a Beyonce fan until I heard her attempt to hit some Mariah Carey notes. TO ME and me only, I feel like she is a robot. She is a GREAT entertainer and I do LOVE some of her songs. I feel like she needs to learn how to control her voice somehow. I dunno I'm just a critic not a voice teacher. However, I just think her voice is not on point all the time, and you all know I can sing WAY better, HA! kidding...here is good Beyonce
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R_RVId9OkgI
Here is the Beyonce that hurt my ears to listen...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2EwViQxSJJQ&ob=av2e
The song has a great message, but I feel like Beyonce tries to do soo much with her voice when she could just simply sing the note instead of jackin' it around everywhere. Yes, I know I should support my H town folks. I do. I keep an open mind, Beyonce is probably a really smart bidness woman. However, I cannot purchase an album. I do have to say the album with Hip Hop Star and Sweet Dreams Ego and Halo...that shit was TIIIGHT!! and HELL YES I purchased a few songs...seee I'm not a total Beyonstank hater!
Work~
I sometimes dread going to work in the mornings. Especially, during the summertime, when I would much rather be at the beach. Today was one of those days. Yeah I know "tropical storm Don" whatever. I hear there are some gnarly waves during a storm. Ya know since I surf and all...I don't. This morning made it worth coming to work. Anyway, I make a pit stop in the bathroom this morning and make eye contact with a lady who was also making a pit stop. We are sitting there quietly waiting for the other to start peeing. Well, I peed, she farted. BAHAHAH! Now here's the question. What would you do? Laugh to yourself, cuz farts are funny? OR OR OR do you fart back to make her feel comfortable? I was tempted to do that latter. I am not ashamed. I can't stand it if someone farts and another person is like "ew gross" gimme a break fool! You never farted in yo life? PUHLEASE! Oh and I'm sure when you fart its not gross. Whatev. Get over it, people fart. Poor lady, waited until I left the bathroom to come out. I almost wanted to console her, put my hand against the stall door and let her know that I too fart and I see nothing wrong with it. Its as natural as the hair on her head....or was it? Farts are funny and that's it.
Ah the troll badger. He has been boasting about some diet he's been on for 3 weeks. Eh, he still is a hunch backed, no neck disgusting, inappropriate RUDE, troll. "Please Edie tell us how you really feel." His client came and he started talking about weight loss with him. His client came in was obviously overweight. His client did not ask for his dieting advice. I'm pretty sure he was visiting for legal advice. Now, that my children, is fuckin' rude. People battle with their weight their entire lives. Does some short chunky troll give you hope because he claims he's "pretty buff for a 40 yr old". No, troll badger! No one wants to touch you let alone feel your muscles. OH and NO ONE needs your health advice. So once again, I day dream of tripping him or maybe spitting in his food. Ah, a girl can dream right? He needs to stay in his cave and blare his Katy Perry, Taylor Swift, and Pink (i love her but not when troll badger is listening) and pick his nose like most troll badgers do. I'm just glad he got over the Usher "Yeah" period. Yes, this was recently, not 2006.
You can tell I dream big huh? Visions of being on peopleofwalmart.com and spitting in food. I am one damn mature individual. On that note, I am going to go make fart noises as people pass by, bend over and sit down. Have a great day peeps!
I thought about a few things this morning that made me smile. The first being...drum roll please...CLICHES!
GOOD GOD! Stop with the "it is what it is" and "at the end of the day". Can you not think of a better way to transition to your next thought? Is it really what it is? When it is stated, isn't someone on the other end of that thinking it isn't? What is it really? Yes, maybe it is what it is, so that's why you said it. Do you need to make sure people know that by saying,"it is what it is"? On, on to the next one..."at the end of the day". Why wait that long to validate something? Couldn't it be the same at the beginning of the day? Is this getting confusing yet? Look, I'm not saying don't use cliches. They are applicable in every day life. Just please try and stay away from the ones the idiots on reality TV use, constantly, at the end of every sentence in every episode of whatever housewife, bridezilla, real world (is that show even on anymore) type show you watch. I am not saying anything is wrong with reality TV. SHOOOTT, I love me some Jersey Shore. What? I do. I have a pair of damn Snooki slippers, which are rismiculously comfortable and loudly animal printed. I also have a lil' semi crush on Walter Mathou's twin, The Situation. So I'll just finish this section saying, well dawg, it is what it is and the end of the day you're the one that makes the decision. ;p Gimme a damn break!
"I'm too old for that"
That is the WORST saying I hear regularly. You make yourself too old to do stuff. Once again of course there are boundaries, but seriously have some fun with your life! It doesn't mean you have to go out and get wasted all the time. Enjoy life. If you get an invitation from a friend to do something out of the ordinary. Go Nike and just do it! What is there to lose? You get to spend time with a friend you may or may not see enough AND you have experienced something. Now I will step off my high horse and move on.
What the hell~
What the hell does a hash tag do? What is it's purpose? "'Splain me Lucy!" I see them all the time. I know you use them but ya know I don't get it. Maybe I'm too old for this social network stuff ;)
Music~
Let me touch on some pop culture...Beyonce...who is also known to me as Beyonstank.
I used to be such a BIG fan of Destiny's Child. I was almost a Beyonce fan until I heard her attempt to hit some Mariah Carey notes. TO ME and me only, I feel like she is a robot. She is a GREAT entertainer and I do LOVE some of her songs. I feel like she needs to learn how to control her voice somehow. I dunno I'm just a critic not a voice teacher. However, I just think her voice is not on point all the time, and you all know I can sing WAY better, HA! kidding...here is good Beyonce
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R_RVId9OkgI
Here is the Beyonce that hurt my ears to listen...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2EwViQxSJJQ&ob=av2e
The song has a great message, but I feel like Beyonce tries to do soo much with her voice when she could just simply sing the note instead of jackin' it around everywhere. Yes, I know I should support my H town folks. I do. I keep an open mind, Beyonce is probably a really smart bidness woman. However, I cannot purchase an album. I do have to say the album with Hip Hop Star and Sweet Dreams Ego and Halo...that shit was TIIIGHT!! and HELL YES I purchased a few songs...seee I'm not a total Beyonstank hater!
Work~
I sometimes dread going to work in the mornings. Especially, during the summertime, when I would much rather be at the beach. Today was one of those days. Yeah I know "tropical storm Don" whatever. I hear there are some gnarly waves during a storm. Ya know since I surf and all...I don't. This morning made it worth coming to work. Anyway, I make a pit stop in the bathroom this morning and make eye contact with a lady who was also making a pit stop. We are sitting there quietly waiting for the other to start peeing. Well, I peed, she farted. BAHAHAH! Now here's the question. What would you do? Laugh to yourself, cuz farts are funny? OR OR OR do you fart back to make her feel comfortable? I was tempted to do that latter. I am not ashamed. I can't stand it if someone farts and another person is like "ew gross" gimme a break fool! You never farted in yo life? PUHLEASE! Oh and I'm sure when you fart its not gross. Whatev. Get over it, people fart. Poor lady, waited until I left the bathroom to come out. I almost wanted to console her, put my hand against the stall door and let her know that I too fart and I see nothing wrong with it. Its as natural as the hair on her head....or was it? Farts are funny and that's it.
Ah the troll badger. He has been boasting about some diet he's been on for 3 weeks. Eh, he still is a hunch backed, no neck disgusting, inappropriate RUDE, troll. "Please Edie tell us how you really feel." His client came and he started talking about weight loss with him. His client came in was obviously overweight. His client did not ask for his dieting advice. I'm pretty sure he was visiting for legal advice. Now, that my children, is fuckin' rude. People battle with their weight their entire lives. Does some short chunky troll give you hope because he claims he's "pretty buff for a 40 yr old". No, troll badger! No one wants to touch you let alone feel your muscles. OH and NO ONE needs your health advice. So once again, I day dream of tripping him or maybe spitting in his food. Ah, a girl can dream right? He needs to stay in his cave and blare his Katy Perry, Taylor Swift, and Pink (i love her but not when troll badger is listening) and pick his nose like most troll badgers do. I'm just glad he got over the Usher "Yeah" period. Yes, this was recently, not 2006.
You can tell I dream big huh? Visions of being on peopleofwalmart.com and spitting in food. I am one damn mature individual. On that note, I am going to go make fart noises as people pass by, bend over and sit down. Have a great day peeps!
Wednesday, July 27, 2011
07/27/2011 A snippet.
So to begin I will start with a brief introduction. Hi my name is Edie and I'm a lifeaholic. No not one of those cheesey fools who "live life to the fullest." I am more of a I do whatever the shit I wanna do when I wanna do it. Yes there are boundaries and NO I don't care what anyone thinks. I do what makes me happy and believe more people should live that way. That being said, lets do this blog thang!
I wanted to start a blog because I am SOOO tired of generic people, shows, radio, movies, relationships. If you know me, you know I am quite the opposite of what falls under generic. I get so frustrated with people running into the same problems and not seeing the pattern or doing anything about it. RECOGNIZE YO SHIT FOOLS!
Where shall I begin? Lets do a litttle Pop Culture~
I will begin with all of this Amy Winehouse controversy. Yes, she was 27, yes she had her demons, and yes she passed away. She was a talented being who in fact lived her life the way she wanted. She hurt many people on her way out, but leave her alone. She doesn't belong to any damn club. What about all of the other addicts who die every day?
Work~
Ahhhh one of my favorite topics. Everyone works to sustain their livelihood and to be able to afford their lifestyel, family, etc. Where do you make sacrifices? Sure, I feel my job is beneath me much of the time, but I need to remember all of those who don't have jobs. Like homeboy who sits on the corner and begs. However, this man, who I refer to as troll badger, is an insane ASSHOLE! I have many many stories. My latest, is that his no neck havin ass has decided to really buckle down and diet. Great, maybe you should learn etiquette first. This fool is a rude troll with angry short man's disease. He trots around the office like he's the shit. Ever wanna trip someone just cuz it would be funny? Yup, I think about that all the time. I'm not a hateful person either. Every time I have to walk by his office I think of a new insult. Today, I thought to myself, "why don't you get a neck." Then I think...ah you can come up with a better one than that ;)
Fat~
Yes, I'm chunky. I work my ass off and occasionally find time to either binge drink or binge eat. I work out 5 or 6 days a week. Hoping to one day have that Gina Carano (seeriously hot boxer chick, googler her) body. Ahhh sigh...one day. Recently, as I'm putting on weight, getting ridiculously cold, and tired I decided to go to the dr. I found out I have subclinical hypothyroidism. In short, there is a reason why I'm still a fat ass, aside from the candy and Chipotle I love soooo much, that I do not eat anymore :(. Today I went to boot camp. Ya know they say to drink plenty of water. I do. Probably a good gallon. BUT seriously, I spend all damn day in the john. PLUS, when I got to boot camp I had to pee SOOO bad. It was looking like it was going to rain and I seriously was thinking PLEASE rain!! PLEASE!!! Then I could just whiz and noone may notice the extra down pour between my legs. heh. Ah well, don't worry! I did not pull a Fergie, I made it home. BUT I always have a plan B and them bushes on the side of the road were looking awfully luscious today.
Music~
I will regulary have more to say in this subject. I just have to say... I AM NOT FEELIN the New Jay Z and Kanye song thats sample Otis Reddings "Try A Little Tenderness". First you have Otis singing in the background. Its fuckin distracting. Then at the end some fools is screaming like the singing seagull from The Little Mermaid. NUH UH! That song is weak and I am very disappointed. Even more so they play it on the radio. You know those fools just put that mess together in a hot seconds to see if their money, power and influence to get the crap played on the radio. And what do you know. There it is. BOOM! ALL UP IN MY EAR HOLE!
Wal Mart~
Um, we went to Wal Mart today. Really? Why do people go there? The food is rotten, yeah its cheap but um momma always said, "you get what you paid for." Its HELLA dirty there and there IS and ALWAYS will be 1 million people and their children there, no less. Only thing great about that place is that I can go in there looking like a brokedown librarian who just walked through a wind tunnel and don't nobody care. Maybe one day I too shall end up on the people of Wal Mart. Aaahh, a girl can only dream.
I am happy to give advice if you have questions. I believe I remain realistic and honest. I am an avid lover of learning to appreciate and love yourself and hold yourself in the highest regard. Ain't nothin' wrong with alotta confidence!
Well, this was just the first excerpt. Not my best work, it will get better with more preparation. Let it simmer, think about it, dream about it. Just remember, no shirt, no shoes, no dice ;)
I wanted to start a blog because I am SOOO tired of generic people, shows, radio, movies, relationships. If you know me, you know I am quite the opposite of what falls under generic. I get so frustrated with people running into the same problems and not seeing the pattern or doing anything about it. RECOGNIZE YO SHIT FOOLS!
Where shall I begin? Lets do a litttle Pop Culture~
I will begin with all of this Amy Winehouse controversy. Yes, she was 27, yes she had her demons, and yes she passed away. She was a talented being who in fact lived her life the way she wanted. She hurt many people on her way out, but leave her alone. She doesn't belong to any damn club. What about all of the other addicts who die every day?
Work~
Ahhhh one of my favorite topics. Everyone works to sustain their livelihood and to be able to afford their lifestyel, family, etc. Where do you make sacrifices? Sure, I feel my job is beneath me much of the time, but I need to remember all of those who don't have jobs. Like homeboy who sits on the corner and begs. However, this man, who I refer to as troll badger, is an insane ASSHOLE! I have many many stories. My latest, is that his no neck havin ass has decided to really buckle down and diet. Great, maybe you should learn etiquette first. This fool is a rude troll with angry short man's disease. He trots around the office like he's the shit. Ever wanna trip someone just cuz it would be funny? Yup, I think about that all the time. I'm not a hateful person either. Every time I have to walk by his office I think of a new insult. Today, I thought to myself, "why don't you get a neck." Then I think...ah you can come up with a better one than that ;)
Fat~
Yes, I'm chunky. I work my ass off and occasionally find time to either binge drink or binge eat. I work out 5 or 6 days a week. Hoping to one day have that Gina Carano (seeriously hot boxer chick, googler her) body. Ahhh sigh...one day. Recently, as I'm putting on weight, getting ridiculously cold, and tired I decided to go to the dr. I found out I have subclinical hypothyroidism. In short, there is a reason why I'm still a fat ass, aside from the candy and Chipotle I love soooo much, that I do not eat anymore :(. Today I went to boot camp. Ya know they say to drink plenty of water. I do. Probably a good gallon. BUT seriously, I spend all damn day in the john. PLUS, when I got to boot camp I had to pee SOOO bad. It was looking like it was going to rain and I seriously was thinking PLEASE rain!! PLEASE!!! Then I could just whiz and noone may notice the extra down pour between my legs. heh. Ah well, don't worry! I did not pull a Fergie, I made it home. BUT I always have a plan B and them bushes on the side of the road were looking awfully luscious today.
Music~
I will regulary have more to say in this subject. I just have to say... I AM NOT FEELIN the New Jay Z and Kanye song thats sample Otis Reddings "Try A Little Tenderness". First you have Otis singing in the background. Its fuckin distracting. Then at the end some fools is screaming like the singing seagull from The Little Mermaid. NUH UH! That song is weak and I am very disappointed. Even more so they play it on the radio. You know those fools just put that mess together in a hot seconds to see if their money, power and influence to get the crap played on the radio. And what do you know. There it is. BOOM! ALL UP IN MY EAR HOLE!
Wal Mart~
Um, we went to Wal Mart today. Really? Why do people go there? The food is rotten, yeah its cheap but um momma always said, "you get what you paid for." Its HELLA dirty there and there IS and ALWAYS will be 1 million people and their children there, no less. Only thing great about that place is that I can go in there looking like a brokedown librarian who just walked through a wind tunnel and don't nobody care. Maybe one day I too shall end up on the people of Wal Mart. Aaahh, a girl can only dream.
I am happy to give advice if you have questions. I believe I remain realistic and honest. I am an avid lover of learning to appreciate and love yourself and hold yourself in the highest regard. Ain't nothin' wrong with alotta confidence!
Well, this was just the first excerpt. Not my best work, it will get better with more preparation. Let it simmer, think about it, dream about it. Just remember, no shirt, no shoes, no dice ;)
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