Realization at 31

I have to begin by saying. I never knew what I wanted to be "when I grow up", except for famous.  I went to college and studied communications and worked like most others.  I found I have a passion for radio/marketing and work GREAT with children.  I got laid off twice from the radio stations I worked at and figured, screw it.  It's not stable enough for me to continue on that path.  So I decided to return to school to work in the medical field, at first it was a dr, if I wanted to graduate when I'm 65, then a nurse, which is still a possibility, although I am thinking physician's assistant.  I went to a community college to finish the pre reqs I didn't cover with my 1st degree, which are still unfinished. I stopped going to school, because I ended up with a terrible professor (I was going part time) for one of the MOST important classes, counselors who just wanted me in and out of their offices.  I felt lost and discouraged.  I really wanted to do this, I felt it was in my blood to do this. The question was if I can't get the support I need from my school how the HELL am I going to do this? I was working part-time and going to school part-time and I really did well in most of my courses.  As I looked for another professor to take this certain class with, yup, NO ONE ELSE! I would wait HOURS & HOURS on end trying to get grants and trying to meet with counselors to help me find options. Nothing.  I finally had to go to the mental health counselor to get some help.  She helped me knock out everything I needed.  She was a GOD send.

I still felt extremely discouraged as the last semester rolled by. Is this really what I need to do? I am working soo hard and this one class/professor was killing me.  So I didn't return.  For a few reasons.  I will be getting married soon and can't pay for a wedding as a student and well I needed to reboot and make sure this is what is what was calling my name.  So as I sit here in my cubicle, ready to tear my hair out because I'm being asked to complete some menial task, the answer is yes.  I am TOO fucking smart to be sitting hear waiting hand and foot on someone who could have opened the drawer that is right next to him and pull the file out, instead of ME getting up from my desk walking down the hall to do the same for him. 

Once I am married, I AM OUTTA HERE!  I will return to my studies, finish, and be the best physician's assistant ever!!!! I have applied to HUNDREDS of jobs and nothing has come of the interview and call backs I have gotten.  I have taken this as a sign that I need to work in health care.  Not only for myself, but my soon to be family and my immediate family.  I needed to actually get this out of my system instead of thinking it all the time because now as I make the steps towards that goal it will become reality.

SO before I RUN OUTTA HERE AT FULL SPEED WITH MY ARMS FLAILING IN THE AIR SCREAMING AT THE TOP OF MY LUNGS...remind me, patients my dear. You are working toward your goal, use your time wisely.

THE END.