Am I still mourning?

I went to church to get my ashes because I'm a good Catholic girl. Today the homily was about how we avoid mourning and go straight to celebrating life at funerals because mourning is dark and unpleasant. People avoid dark and unpleasant. It was also said we need mourning and to mourn as humans and how it was expected once upon a time that you grieve/mourn your lost loved one around 2 yrs. No one expected you to bounce back immediately. We must take the dark with the light, not forgetting either because We must experience both in order to move forward. Then a podcast I was listening to touched on grief, which coincidentally repeated what I heard in church. Here I am thinking this is very relevant right now and I need to take notice and listen to the intended message. Having recently lost a friend, 2 other friends not long ago, and in years past losing family members and of course to have my heart broken for the first time in my life by the untimely death of my father. All I have been feeling, is anger, and have been shoulda coulda woulda'ing myself over my friend's passing.
My heart hurts for my friend who lost his brother and friend. All I could think about is how angry I was when my father died. How could people go on about their day when MY dad wasn't living anymore. How could you eat when my father couldn't eat anymore, how could you speak, when my father can't speak anymore. How can you have any emotion other than grief because my father died. How can you continue to post your funny little things on social media knowing I lost someone so close. How disrespectful for anyone to be happy and not feel as lost as I do without my dad. All I have been thinking about is how my friend is dealing with the sudden death of his brother and how I, as a friend to both, should be living because I kept thinking about all of the emotion I felt when my dad died and he has to be feeling the same.
I felt selfish. How could I try and be funny when I know how painful this is for him. Now, I realize I am being selfish. I know nothing of what he feels. So what do I do? The answer is has been blaring in my face all day. I should let him mourn. I don't know how to help someone do that or if I can, but I can try. Nothing I can do or say will make anything okay. Sometimes silence and a spill of emotion is what is needed. You don't need to seem strong ALL the time. Memories and great times are wonderful and I can share those all day, but today I'm realizing through the dark we get to the light. Go through the mourning in order to celebrate life.
Through all of this, I'm realizing, I am not and haven't allowed myself to mourn the losses of my friends Cindy and Trevor (passed in the 2 years) or my Grandfather or Uncle or Aunt. I didn't allow myself to mourn my father. I didn't know how. I thought I needed to accept these things quickly and bounce back. I skipped it, not entirely, but I didn't allow myself to fully emote. I was too busy trying to be strong and hurry and heal. 
So I think about my friend and his and loss and all I can do is let my heart hurt for him and let him get through the dark to find the light. Caulfield has been missed and will be even more so now. There's no one way to mourn or grieve, but there is one way to show that you care and that's all you can do for someone who may or may not be familiar with loss.