Lost in Limbo

Ya know...people say if you give off positivity you will get it in return.  People say ask for help. As an adult these days I have found more and more of my friends at my age (30) still lost.  Where do I need to be? Where am I supposed to go? What is going to be my next move? I am not happy with what I am doing, where my life is, where its going. People say, well do something about it! So you do, and you still feel lost in limbo.  Is where I am better than where I was? How do I know what success is? Why is this person (seemingly) more successful than me?

I don't have the answers to these questions.  I have gone through and exhausted just about every resource I have.  Maybe I need to hurry up and purchase a web cam so I can get my youtube channel on??? In any case, I have learned and continue to learn the only person who is gonna pull me out of this funk is me.  Am I tired and mentally drained for putting efforts towards being a better person everyday, to get a better job everyday, and to feel worthy everyday? YES! YES! YES!  I am struggling right now to hit that passion I once had.  I am a creative person and am dying to use my creativity before it fizzles up, dries out and dies. It is true ya know, if ya don't use it ya lose it. 

SO what is success? Its so different for so many people.  My success will be to get back to the job that I had a passion for.  The job I didn't mind working weekends and late for. The job that I got to use my creativity for.  For others, its marriage and family, and other is just money.  I see soo many people who want what others have.  Well, the grass isn't always greener folks.  However, you need to push yourself.  If you want those things you work towards them.  Change what you do everyday.  I'm sure you have all heard the definition of insanity is to do the same thing over and over again expecting a different result.  Well, I HATE that definition. DO you see that anywhere???

in·san·i·ty

   /ɪnˈsænɪti/ Show Spelled[in-san-i-tee] Show IPA

–noun, plural in·san·i·ties.

1.

the condition of being insane; a derangement of the mind. Synonyms: dementia, lunacy, madness, craziness, mania, aberration.

2.

Law . such unsoundness of mind as frees one from legal responsibility, as for committing a crime, or as signals one's lack of legal capacity, as for entering into a contractual agreement.

3.

Psychiatry . (formerly) psychosis.

4.

a.

extreme foolishness; folly; senselessness; foolhardiness: Trying to drive through that traffic would be pure insanity.

b.

a foolish or senseless action, policy, statement, etc.: We've heard decades of insanities in our political discourse.

Sometimes, they key IS persistence. So yes do something over and over again until you get a result. Figure out what isn't working and fix and get the job.  I love this, because this have become a pep talk to myself.  See, earlier I could NOT stop crying at work.  I am literally in AWE of how wrong I feel like my job is.  Not wrong ethically, wrong for me.  It is beating me up and taking away what is me.  I need to be me, I need to be creative, I need to be able to use my personality, and I just can't do that where I am at now.  If you are feeling the same way I am, which, I know sooo many are. Let's make it happen.  I am sure you have as many talented, intelligent friends as I do.  Put your minds together.  Make moves! Get inspired! Hell, go home early like I did and cry until your head hurts and take a look back at your sorry pitiful ass and KICK IT! Get into high gear and make MOVES SON!!! As I attempt to work my way into one of the hardest industries to get into, I will get beat down, I will get rejected, and I will be ignored, but I will keep on trucking until I hit EVERY SINGLE goal small and BIG, until my passion is back. Thank GOD for supportive fiances! Alright, lets do this thang!